Henry the Eighth: A Lovely Little Biography
Henry the Eighth, born as Henry Tudor, lived from June 28, 1491 to January 28, 1547. Thus, he lived during the very early part of the Renaissance, when it was just barely spreading to England. Henry was a born leader; in his prime, he was handsome and charismatic. But later in his life, he got a little... grumpy, to put it lightly. Nevertheless, the things Henry did in his life, like creating the first Protestant church, changed England forever. For better or for worse? You decide.
Rise to the Throne
Henry was not born expecting to be king. That right went to his older brother, Arthur. But Arthur died just twenty weeks after taking the throne, at age fifteen. Henry, barely eleven years old, was now set to be king. But there were huge complications. First off, Henry was stuck with his late brother's wife, Catherine of Aragorn. He had to marry her, but the Pope, leader of the Catholic church, said that it was not allowed to marry your dead brother's wife. It was a long and drawn-out fight between Henry's parents and the Pope. But finally, the Pope gave in after some extra pressure from Catherine's parents King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain (yes, the same king and queen who sent Christopher Colombus on his journey to America).
I Need a Son!
Finally, at age 17, Henry was married to Catherine. It was a happy marriage, but Henry really only had one thing on his mind - a son. He had to carry on the Tudor name, and so he wanted a newborn son more than anything in the world. So did Catherine. When she was pregnant, she would pray and pray that her son would be a boy, and would even wear a hair shirt that made her skin raw and bloody to show her devotion to God. But even after all that, and fifteen years of marriage, Catherine only had one girl, name Mary (Yes, as in Bloody Mary. But that's a topic for a different time). Henry and Catherine were both devastated, and Henry was convinced that the Pope was right: he should never have gotten married to her. His marriage was cursed.
The Church of England
Henry approached the Pope and asked for him to annul his marriage to Catherine. The Pope flat-out refused; divorce was not allowed. After countless refusals from the Pope, Henry started getting mad. He was the King, after all. He should have whatever he wanted. So in order to slip by the Catholic Church's refusal of divorce, Henry made a brand new church - the Church of England, also known as the Anglican church. It was the first Protestant church ever, and boy, did it make the Pope angry!
But the Pope could do nothing about it. The population of Enlgand was converting to Anglican, and Henry finally had the right to divorce Catherine. So he dumped her and her daughter, Mary, and moved on to Anne Boleyn, also known as wife number two...
Anne Boleyn
Anne was Henry's second wife, and his true love. Even before he was officially married to Catherine, he was crazy about Anne. After the Church of England was officially founded, he was happy to finally be able to marry her. But unfortunately for Henry, Anne only produced child, again a girl. This one of named Elizabeth (Yeah. THAT Elizabeth). Henry was once again furious and devastated. He needed a son badly, and he knew that getting two divorces would be pushing it. So clever Henry decided to convince Anne of "treason" and was able to get away with ending their marriage by having her executed. And that was the end of wife number two.
In His Free Time
Henry the Eighth had a busy social life, you can't deny that. But when he wasn't running his church or executing his wife, what did he do in his free time? What was he like?
Well, when Henry was young, he was a sharp cookie. He was fluent in not only English but in French and Latin, and was very athletic. He was the best horse-back rider around when he was a kid. He was also said to be a fine dancer and singer.
Later in his life, after he was king, Henry also grew fine and elaborate tastes, including wearing the most expensive and hard-to-get clothes around. He was quite vain, and very proud of his royalty and money. He loved jewelry, too. He owned 234 rings, 365 jeweled brooches (one for each day) and even glittering diamond stickpins that he used just for picking his teeth. Henry would hold lavish tournaments, and one time in 1520, on a temporary alliance with France, he held a huge get-together known as the Cloth of Gold. They made a temporary city studded with gold and jewels, and there was even a gold fountain that shot out two kinds of wine.
But Henry was also a very angry, irritable person, especially when he grew older. A friend of Henry's even once wrote that when the king got mad, he became "the most dangerous and cruel man in the world." After all, he DID execute his own wife!
On one instance, the poor cook of the Bishop of Rochestor was being treated very badly by the Bishop. He was barely getting paid, getting abused, and was generally forced to live terribly. So one night the cook retaliated at one of the Bishop's feasts. He put an herb in the guests' dishes that gave anyone who ate it diarrhea. Unfortunately, two guests enjoyed the food and had seconds, then had such bad cases of diarrhea that they died. So the cook was sentenced to death by hanging. But Henry decided to step in, claiming that was a too nice a way to die, and ordered the cook to be boiled to death in his own pot. (You think I'm joking? This is all true.)
Henry the Eighth definitely wasn't the nicest guy. Keep reading to find out what happened to him in the end.
Henry's Third Wife
Anne Boleyn was dead, and Henry still wanted a son. So what else could he do? Only ten days after executing his third wife, he married Jane Seymour. Finally, after literally eighteen years of waiting, Henry had a son to carry on the Tudor name. Sadly, Anne died in childbirth, and the son would, Edward, would die at age 15. Henry drifted into a deep depression, where he ate constantly to fill up his grief. He was very cranky as well. But he decided it was time for another wife.
Wives, Wives, and More Wives
Henry was convinced it was time for wife number four. England needed an alliance with Germany, so Henry decided to marry the daughter of a German Duke. Her name was Anne of Cleves. However, it was not a romantic marriage: Henry thought that Anne was so ugly that he could hardly bear to look at her. The marriage lasted only two months, and then everyone decided to anull it.
Not even a month later, Henry got married to his fifth wife Catherine Howard. But Henry was nearly fifty, and Catherine was seventeen, and she secretly disliked the king. After all, he was old, overweight, and tended to have fits of rage when things didn't goes his way. So she started seeing other men. When Henry found out, Catherine was promptly executed, and the king moved on to...
Henry's Sixth Wife (and His Death)
Henry quickly married again, and his new wife (Catherine Parr), managed to put up with him, but his final years were terrible. He could barely move without assistance, and had oozing sores on his legs that he got from an earlier hunting accident. He died miserably, suffering from constant pain. And what's even more humiliating, he could barely fit in his coffin, and it kept bursting open at his ceremony. Stories tell of a dog jumping out to lick the oozy pus that had spilled out of the coffin from his leg wound. Not the best way to go out.
But at least Catherine Parr, his final wife, would never have to put up with him again.
Above: Henry's six wives. He was married to three Catherines, two Annes, and a Jane. One got kicked out of royalty, one died in childbirth, two were executed, one of simply abandoned, and the final one managed to outlive Henry, avoiding whatever untimely demise might have happened to her.
Long Live the King
Henry was generally not the nicest guy. He was cranky, jealous, and at times even murderous. But still, he did do many good things. For example, he was the first to go against the Pope and the Catholic Church, who back then had gotten way too greedy. And his second wife, Anne Boleyn, gave birth to Elizabeth the First. It turned out that Henry didn't need a male heir. Elizabeth was one of the greatest rulers England ever had. Click here to see her page!
